How to Deal With Zero-Sum People Part I

Understanding how to manage people with a Zero-Sum Mentality is going to save you from toxic relationships, lost time, lost money, lost career opportunities, emotional scars, and even physical harm!

You must be able to identify and handle these kind of individuals (male and female) as a feminine woman in particular, because your femininity alone can cause them to target you (even if they are another feminine woman).

Zero-Sum Theory

“Zero-Sum Theory” or “Zero-Sum Game Theory” is a strategy or system often discussed in politics. Don’t worry. I’m not going to lecture. We’ll just cover the absolute basics! The literal definition of Zero-Sum Theory, by way of Merriam-Webster is:

“. . .[O]f, relating to, or being a situation (as a game or relationship) in which a gain for one side entails a corresponding loss for the other side.”

In other words:

A WIN for you is an automatic LOSS for me

A LOSS for you is a WIN for me

(Even when it’s not.)

Having someone in your life who sees every good thing that happens to you as an automatic bad thing for him or her is incredibly dangerous.


You have something worse than a Frenemy, on your hands! (Read my tutorial for identifying and removing frenemies here.)

You have a true enemy.

An enemy that has gotten close to you in a way that only a friend can; however, unlike a Frenemy someone with this mentality is harder to identify and harder to remove from your life.

Furthermore, in their own minds you are locked in a constant, unending, vicious competition with her or him!

Competitions MUST have a winner and a loser. 

She or he will make sure someone wins and someone loses–every time.

Now that you know what’s at stake, learn how to identify people with the Zero-Sum Mentality in your life in Part II.